Patient (P)- This prescription I have, this salve, it should be taken off the market.
Me- What seems to be the problem? (he's been on this cream for years)
P- I can't apply it. I can't reach. The sore is on my bottom and I can't reach there.
Me- Do you have anyone that can help you apply it? Any family or friends?
P- No. And the doctor wants me to apply it as often as needed. What am I going to do?
Me- Actually the doctor wants you to apply the cream only twice daily, and only if needed, as it says on the directions. Have you tried contacting your doctor to see if they could help you find a visiting nurse to help?
P- The salve says to keep it covered. How can I have someone come and apply it throughout the day?
Me- (Reitierating the twice daily directions) the wound site should be covered with a dressing, but the cream should be applied no more than twice daily. Have you called your doctor's office?
P- They said they couldn't help. Can you help?
Me- I would recommend seeing if a visiting nurse can come by and help you with your medication.
P- Can you help me apply it?
Me- I'm sorry, I can't. I recommend you call your doctor's office if you still have problems.
There's a reason why i'm a pharmacist, not a nurse.
May I also add that nurses don't get paid enough?
One of my techs was later wondering how he manages to wipe his own ass.